The Hopeless One
by RaInxDrOps
Summary: SEQUEL to LOVE CHARADES: March 28 is a pretty ordinary date to everyone else in Konoha, but to 7 men, it could possibly be the most important day of the whole year. Can their combined powers give Sakura the most memorable birthday?
1. Chapter 1

PLEASE READ LOVE CHARADES BEFORE READING THIS OR YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND SOME PARTS!

Pre-chapter A/N: I'm not dead! I really am not! I just...didn't ever find time to write =(. This actually isn't the whole sequel to 'Love Charades', but only the first chapter of this sequel. It's not going to be a chapter story per say...more like small snippets of the entire plot. I'm doing this so that I can force myself to write a little each time and post =). Please enjoy this small glimpse!

Summary: March 28 is a pretty ordinary date to everyone else in Konoha, but to 7 men, it could possibly be the most important day of the whole year. In their arsenal are 3 handsome Uchiha men, the famous Copy-ninja, and the geniuses Neji and Shikamaru. Very impressive. Of course Naruto is a bit of a setback, but his abnormalities can be balanced out by the intelligence of Konoha's top 6 men, can't it? Can their combined powers give Sakura the most memorable birthday, or will it end as diasterous as their last rendevous together?

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A pacing Uchiha Itachi is not a common sight. In fact, the heir himself couldn't remember another time when his feet are moving so constantly across his bedroom floor. But as his _beyond_ average mind was shifting through all the 'What if's and 'But,' thoughts, Itachi had no time to dictate what his legs were doing. So unintentionally, the esteemed ANBU was wearing out his wooden flooring while his younger brother leaned casually on his doorframe looking unmistakably amused.

Sasuke knew that his aniki was aware of his presence - it wasn't like he was being stealthy or anything - but the fact that the older Uchiha hadn't acknowledge him yet was out of the ordinary. He debated within his mind on whether or not he should say something to break his brother's personal thoughts or to simply continue watching this out of character display. It was a 'once in a blue moon' occurrence after all.

After Itachi does five more sets of trekking back and forth, Sasuke grew bored. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Not now Sasuke," came a low response from Itachi. The younger Uchiha was familiar with this phrase since he heard it all throughout his childhood, and even though he is 19 now, Sasuke was still irked by his brother's easy dismissal.

"Okaa-san would not be pleased if she hears that we have to replace your floorings because you wore them out," Sasuke remarked blandly while giving his aniki's wandering legs a pointed look. Itachi stopped moving immediately.

With a casual gesture, Itachi motioned for Sasuke to enter the room. "Did you need me for something Sasuke?" he asked while sitting down on one of two cushions in the center of the room. Sasuke sat on the other, facing his older brother.

There was a moment of silent regard that passes through them as their almost identical obsidian eyes met. "Sakura's birthday is coming up," her teammate pointed out.

"I am aware of that," Itachi returned evenly.

Of course he is, Sasuke reasoned to himself sardonically. Itachi knows everything. Well, maybe not _everything_, which is why – as his otouto – Sasuke was here to the rescue. No, no not really. Honestly, he didn't want to interfere in Itachi's and Sakura's business (it already unnerved him too much just thinking about it), but Naruto was insistent that Sakura's happiness was at stake if he didn't do something fast. And because everyone knows how annoying Naruto's insistencies can be, Sasuke found himself sitting in front of his older brother sooner than he'd liked to be.

Since he'd been trained at an early age to view every situation as a potential mission, Sasuke thought the first thing to do during uncertain circumstances like this would be to find out how dire the situation was by asking some key questions. In Naruto's blunt words, he needed to find out how hopeless Itachi is.

"What did you get her last year?"

"Mittens," Itachi replied automatically. Oh, that hopeless.

"You got her mittens for her birthday?" the high degree of disbelief that was imbedded into Sasuke's question was hard to miss by both Uchihas. Sasuke himself was surprised that his voice could sound so…well, surprised, and _expressive_, while Itachi was confused about his younger brother's repetitive question.

"Is there a problem?"

"Sakura's birthday is in March, aniki. Why would she need mittens?" Why would _anyone_ need mittens in March? Actually, where did you _find _mittens in March? Sasuke almost added the last two questions out-loud but wisely caught himself.

"Her old pair was ruined the previous winter. It seemed sensible to replace her damaged pair with a new one before the next winter arrives" the younger male could've sworn that his brother sounded defensive for a bit there. 'Leave it to Itachi to rationalize buying someone a pair of mittens during Spring.'

There was a hint of a smirk gracing Sasuke's lip before he replied, "I'm starting to believe that you aren'tperfect at everything brother."

It seemed Naruto was right after all; if they left Itachi to his own devices this year, who knew what other 'sensible' thing he might get her. And knowing Sakura, she probably wouldn't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings by being outright appalled by it, but she would definitely not be beneath taking her anger out on her poor teammates, mainly Sasuke himself, for not steering the clueless ANBU captain on the right path. Resigning himself to his fate, her Uchiha teammate shook his head inwardly and wondered for the millionth time since that horrible day at the inn 'why did my only brother and female teammate have to like each other?'

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My preemptive attempt to answer all your brewing questions:

1. How many chapters will this take? Probably 5ish? I haven't really planned out the entire plot yet, only about 80%.

2. Lemon? Not entirely sure yet, it will get limey though!

3. Update schedule? Sporadic...please bare with me!

That's all for now my wonderful readers!

Love,

Rainxdrops


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the super late and super short update. I did say I will post sporadically . I know I know, it's still no excuse! Well, thank you everyone who reviewed, your comments really encourage me to keep writing, no matter how minimal I do end up writing. =) Welcome new readers! Remember to read Love Charades first!

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Chapter 2

At exactly fourteen hundred hour, Neji arrived at the door of Konoha's residence obnoxious blond as ordered by his ANBU captain. Honestly, when he saw the note, delivered by his captain's falcon summoning, the Hyuuga prodigy had to reread the note 3 times to make sure that his eyesight hadn't failed him…or something.

'Report to Uzumaki Naruto's home at exactly 1400hr tomorrow. Do not be late.' Said the note. Uzumaki Naruto…Uzumaki…Naruto?

Everything sounded very customary except for the location of the meeting. But since he was never prone to disobeying orders, Neji pushed his weariness of the meeting place to the back of his mind and bravely knocked on his cousin's boyfriend's door. There was some scrambling and Naruto's distinctive voice saying 'Get the door teme!' followed by what could only be an Uchiha's trademark silence before the door actually opened.

"Neji, glad you could make it, come in," Team Seven's captain greeted him with an eye-crinkled smile. By now Neji's weariness was crawling back up to the surface; Team Seven + His ANBU team = Headache, the teen concluded. Inside Naruto's small (and getting smaller) apartment held everyone he expected to be there except for Sakura. How odd… and a bit suspicious. His captain was staring out the window, looking for all the world like he was contemplating the meeting of life, and everyone else was scattered among the blond's dirty floor.

"Am I late?" Neji asked, seeing as everyone was already there, even the Copy Ninja, and that's saying something.

"Nope, just on time! Alright! Let's get this mission started!" bellowed Naruto from his seat on his dirty bed. Neji entered the room and took a seat on the floor next to a bored looking Shikamaru. "Mission?" He questioned uncertainly to the shadow user but only received a lazy shrug in response.

"Our mission," Itachi suddenly announced from his place next to the window, "is not sanctioned by the Hokage, but is top secret, and shall remain that way until it is over. Any failure to do so will be dealt with swiftly." He finished grandly with a pointed death glare to everyone in the room. The others, besides Naruto and Sasuke, stiffened at the implications of what will happen to them if they somehow leaked information out. _Top secret…unsanctioned…death by punishment if leaked…could Itachi be planning to..!_

"Itachi…! Are y-you…planning a Coup d'état?!" Shisui yelled while jumping up from his seat next to Kakashi. His trademark Uchiha eyes were widened in horror. An eerie silence followed his outburst.

It was Sasuke who felt that it was necessary to break the tension in the room. Really, leave it to Itachi to make a task so mundane sound like a S-rank mission to overthrow the Hokage. Well maybe to his aniki it _was_ as difficult as a S-rank mission. But still, no need to give everyone a scare.

"As always Shisui, your deduction is forever off the mark," he stated drily with a stab at Shisui's ridiculous conclusions of Sakura's lover that dreadful night at the inn. "What Itachi really mean is that-"

"He SUCKS at giving Sakura birthday presents so he is begging us to help him." The glare Itachi sent at the room's solo blond-head is nothing short of a promise of death but Naruto was too excited to notice his imminent demise. Itachi had to reason with himself that it would not be a good idea to kill his future Hokage and girlfriend's best friend. So Naruto lived another day to say other dumb things.

"A birthday present…for Sakura? That's our top secret mission?" The million of wheels inside of Shikamaru's head started to spin rapidly until everything stopped a millisecond later and he came up with 4 conclusions. _Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Shouldn't have come._

"Awww, little Itachi is growing up and buying gifts for girls," Shisui wiped away non-existent tears. "I'm so proud. I still remember the days when I thought you were gay." Cue kunai thrown at Shisui's head. Good thing he is Shisui of the Body Flicker or else he would be walking around with a kunai sticking out of his forehead.

"I really don't see how this has anything to do with us Taicho," Neji spoke up. Why was he always getting dragged into his captain's love life? It's just not normal team dynamics.

"Doesn't it?" Itachi replied cryptically while giving Neji an intense red-eyed stare. Suddenly, the three members of his ANBU team shivered simultaneously, caught in an illusion of Itachi's imagination of the future.

_Sakura opening a gift box._

_Finds a new doorknob._

_Itachi telling her that her door's handle needed replacing, hence the birthday gift._

_It's the latest model, he says._

_Sakura bursts out crying and chucks the doorknob at Itachi's head._

_Itachi arrives at the practice field with a huge lump on his forehead, girlfriend-less._

_Shikamaru, Shisui, and Neji 'training' for 3 days straight._

_Them walking home with limps and battle scars. Three bodies in tatters._

_Repeat scene three times._

Illusion over, Itachi questioned innocently, "Shall we get started?"

The trio gulped. "….yes taicho."

The men of Team Seven hadn't seen the illusion but they could only image what horrors the ANBU team had seen. One thing was certain though; this might just be the hardest S-rank mission of their lives.

x x x x

"I can't believe we are here, just kill me now…" the youngest Uchiha mumbled as he tried his best not to cower away from the suggestive stares that he was getting from the middle aged women at the end of the aisle. To his right, the Hyuuga genius was keeping a lookout towards the other end of the aisle. He too was also trying to put up a stoic front and was failing miserably. Unconsciously, the two shifted closer to each other.

"If any of them approach us, I'll kill you if you kill me at the same time," Neji bargained when he saw a woman wave at him flirtatiously. Sasuke nodded solemly, "Deal." Then, they turned so that they were back-to-back, solidifying the first Hyu-Uchi alliance. In this unfamiliar territory, they only had each other. They had to remain strong; a united front is better than a single one.

But how does one maintain their masculinity and virtue when surrounded by erotic reading materials and the touchy hands of the people who read them? They can't.

Welcome to **Lustful Literature**, the second home of Hatake Kakashi.

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My preemptive attempt to answer all your brewing questions:

1. What's going to happen?! Um...a lot of wacky stuff! Haha, the boys are in a Romance book store, so...use your imagination! Or better yet, wait for the next update heheh. Why a bookstore? Reread Love Charades! Just kidding. But I did mention that Sakura loves her romance stories =P.

2. When is the next update?! No clue, whenever I finish writing it!

3. Is Sakura going to be appearing soon? Yes, next chapter she will make her "The Hopeless One" debut, please await her!

4. Itachi doesn't talk much does he? No, he doesn't. His eyes speaks for him =)

Thank you again for your reviews!

Love,

Rainxdrops


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm back! I know it's been a while, and there's no excuse...Just that I haven't been feeling like writing. It's not writer's block, since I have the entire story mapped out already, it's just a lack of wanting to sit down for an hour or so to write and edit. I'm very sorry, and hope this chapter makes up for it! Please enjoy and thank you for all your comments =) they were all lovely to read.

Chapter 3

"Isn't this place great, Itachi-san?" the captain of Team Seven asked with a crinkle in his eyes as he surveyed the boundless amount of romance literature surrounding them. "They are quite fast at releasing new materials, especially the Icha Icha series, and they even have a special section in the back with comfortable chairs for patrons to sit and read. My favorite is the –"

"Hatake-san," Itachi interrupted before Kakashi could go into more details, "Are you quite sure that this is the same bookstore that Sakura frequents?" Unlike his companion, Itachi was eying the shelves filled with erotic reading materials with increasing weariness. He did not know that his lover purchased her books from such a…provocative place. Due to the enhanced abilities of his eyes, the ANBU captain could see the covers of some books on display far down the isle, and willed himself not to react to the sexual natures of the images. Why was that man's face near the woman's – - no, it was best not to think about that.

"If by 'sure' you mean that I've seen her here before, then yes, I am sure. A number of times actually, but it pains me to say that she pretends not to know me each time…"

"I can't imagine why…" Itachi drawled sarcastically. Then he wanted to pull a page out of Sakura's book and do the same when he saw the powerful Copy Ninja prance to the Icha Icha section while singing something that sounded like "New release new release here I come!"

Now that Kakashi abandoned him, Itachi began his own perusal of the literatures, hoping that one of these books would make the best birthday present for Sakura. He made sure to stay clear of the sections that had the erotic pictures on the front and steered towards the plain covered ones but thick in content. From the times that he'd seen her read her love stories, Itachi had notice that most were hundreds of pages in length and definitely did not have naked people on the front. It was a good place to start anyhow, since he had no clue which types of stories were her preference.

Minutes later, when he was still looking lost and uncomfortable, Shisui and Naruto found him.

"Yo Itachi! Did you find anything good yet?" the blond bellowed unnecessarily. No doubt all the ladies in the store will be rushing to their location now to catch a glimpse of the Uchiha clan heir.

"No, I have not," he replied. "And I'm unsure how this is the right gift for Sakura, as I have no way of knowing which she would prefer."

"What are you talking about, Sakura loves these things. She's always reading them when she wants to ignore us. Which is really often," Naruto reasoned. "And, she guards those books with her life. So she'll be really happy if you get her a new one. Believe it!"

"You never asked her what kind of stories she likes to read Itachi?" Shisui asked while picking out a random book from the shelf.

"It didn't seem necessary to ask, as I assumed Romance is a specific enough genre."

"Ah, how wrong you are Itachi-san," Kakashi said out of nowhere. " The art of reading Romance stories can be quite complicated. There can be multiple sub-genres, such as Historical Romance, where the protagonists' love has to be strong enough to withstand the harsh rules set by the society that they are raised in. Or, there is also Adventure Romance, where the lovers are battling together to save the world from destruction by combining their powers. Let's not forget Mystery Romance, where the plot is filled with –"

"AH! We get it Kaka-sensei, you love them all! I thought you were weird before, but this is just….WEIRD." For once, Naruto's words mirror closely to what Itachi is thinking.

Unlike the other two, Shisui has a newfound respect for the Copy Ninja. "Kakashi-senpai, since you are so well versed, do you know which type of stories a girl like Sakura likes?"

"Ah, I do." Now Itachi was listening. "Sakura always lingers in that section." Kakashi pointed to the right side at the end of the row.

Together, all four made their way down to that section of books. Right when they got closer, three familiar figures rounded the corner towards them.

"Where the hell have you guys been?" Naruto asked the other members of their elite team. Sasuke and Neji were both eyeing the women hiding behind neighboring shelves suspiciously, while Shikamaru looked bored as usual.

"I went to ask the clerk if he knows of a pink-haired kunoichi who comes here, and what kind of books she usually purchases," the Nara pointed to the other two men with him, "Then I picked up these two lost ducklings on my way here." This earned him glares from the Hyu-Uchi Alliance members. "Anyways, it seems like Sakura usually buys these kind of books." Shikamaru motioned with his head to the big placard handing above the section they were in.

**FANTASY ROMANCE**

Naruto scratched his head, "What the hell is Fantasy Romance?" A moment of confused silence followed before they all turned to look at the resident Romance expert. Hatake Kakashi almost looked proud when he began answering their questioning gaze.

"Well, Fantasy Romance is centered around all things magical and otherworldly. Usually the girl is normal and falls in love with a sorcerer, a werewolf, a vampire, and anything else that isn't human. They then embark on a quest to discover her hidden powers and together they fight the forces of evil that is trying to take over the world."

"Like a civilian falling in love with a shinobi then becoming a kunoichi and then fighting someone like Orochimaru?" Naruto tried to compare.

"Yes Naruto, something like that," his sensei replied in good humor.

"In these stories…do the characters continue their relationship even after the quest is finished?" Everyone turned and looked at Itachi weirdly for asking such an odd question.

"Well the stories usually end with them still together. Most romance stories are like that in nature. Are you asking about 'happily-ever-afters'?"

"Yes, but more specifically, do they make the relationship permanent," the heir clarified. To the others, it didn't sound like a clarification at all, just a weird rewording.

"What are you asking aniki? If they get married or not, or something?" Sasuke ventured a guess. His older brother could be extremely vague.

Itachi nodded his head, but said nothing. Kakashi scratched his chin and looked up in deep thought. "I think it is always assumed that the couple gets married in the end, since they don't usually have a scene where they do. Although, the proposal scenes that I've read have always been extremely touching."

"Hn." The wheels inside of Itachi's head were slowly cranking. He had an idea for Sakura's perfect birthday present.

Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru weren't sure they liked the contemplative look in Itachi's face when he heard Kakashi talk about marriages and proposals.

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It was almost time for her shift at the hospital when Sakura finally gave up looking for her teammates and boyfriend and decided to visit Ino at her family's flowershop instead. The shop was empty when she entered, and her blond friend was sitting at the counter looking at a fashion magazine.

"Hey Ino-pig," Sakura greeted before sitting down on a high stool in front of the counter. Ino scowled at the familiar greeting and returned it with her own "Hi there billboard brow."

"What are you doing here? No training with your team or hunky boyfriend today?" she teased the pink-head.

Sakura rested her chin on her palm and stared out the shop window. "Nope, can't find any of them today. Isn't that weird?"

"Well your team is always out doing weird stuff aren't they? No surprise there. Did you try Ichiraku ramen?" Everyone knows that is first place to go to if you are looking for Team Seven, or just an obnoxious blond.

"Yup, tried there, the training field, Hokage mountain, the random tree Kaka-sensei likes to read on, and even the Uchiha compound. Itachi's mom said that they both left together in the morning for something important but didn't tell her what."

"Really? Come to think of it, I saw Shikamaru this morning, and he said he had some troublesome business to do with his team. But he was being really secretive so I thought it was ANBU stuff. Do you think they are all together?" All of this secrecy wouldn't be so suspicious if it was only the ANBU team that was involved, but seeing as how her team was also missing, Sakura was sure they were all up to no good.

Just then, a pair of older ladies walked into the shop, talking and giggling about something. They wandered around the shop, talking nonstop about whatever was the latest gossip. Sakura and Ino didn't really pay attention to what they were saying, that is, until they caught words such as "3 uchihas in one place…that Kakashi" "all 7….handsome!"

The two girls turned and gave each other identical stares. "They're talking about _them_!" they both exclaimed at the same time. The kunoichis hopped off their chairs and quickly made their way to the chattering duo.

"Excuse me ladies, can I ask what's the juicy gossip today?" Ino launched into her professional village-gossip mode.

The women glanced at the two girls and instantly recognize Sakura as the girlfriend of the clan heir they were just talking about. "Oh! You wouldn't believe what we heard today. A couple of ladies were going to _that_ bookstore right," the lady pause for effect and the girls both nodded in understanding of which one, "and guess who they saw wandering around there!?"

"Uh…Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura guessed.

"Of course! He's a regular!" the other woman pointed out. "But that's not all! It looks like he bought some friends with him this time. All 6 handsome young men! Oh what a site that must've been, to see them all together like that. Those lucky ladies! I'm so jealous!" she began fanning herself theatrically.

"What?!"

"Are you serious?!"

The two girls began mentally counting. Hatake Kakashi…Uzumaki Naruto…Nara Shikamaru…Hyuuga Neji…Uchiha Shisui…Uchiha Sasuke…and Uchiha Itachi. Indeed it was 7, and no doubt, that WOULD be a site to behold.

"How long ago was this?" Ino asked quickly.

"Oh not long, we heard this maybe 10-15minutes ago."

That mean they could still be there. "Sakura! Let's go! Sorry ladies, shop closed. Everyone out, out, out!" The blond ushered all three out of the shop and shut the door with a loud bang. Together they both ran towards Lustful Literature.

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My preemptive attempt to answer all your brewing questions:

1. Where is this story going? To great places! I hope. I know a lot of people are hoping for lots of comedy, and I will definitely try to provide that. But I think I also want to focus on some ItachixSakura lovey-dovey-ism since Love Charades was all comedy and a little romance. =) time to balance the scales.

is Kakashi so dorky in this chapter? Because he is straight up WEIRD when it comes to his Icha Icha stuff. In my head, I keep thinking of the episode where Team 7 is trying to get him to take off his mask, and they are spying on him when he buys groceries, then he sees a sign for a Icha Icha movie and he starts doing this weird shuffle back and forth in front of the sign, acting like a total fanboy. So yes, that's where my inspiration for this chapter-Kakashi. Besides, I find weird!Kakashi absolutely adorable.

3. Next update? No clue, sooner than the last one I hope. ::cross fingers:: but please don't give up on this story, I really do want to finish it eventually. Since it's not going to be that long, I believe this is doable, so if you guys just put this on alert, and wait for me, that would be wonderful!

Thank you again for your reviews!

Love,

Rainxdrops


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